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Can I tell you a secret? More than a week ago, I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep. I was thinking about how beautiful it has been outside lately, and then I had a totally crazy idea. What if I went running? Now, I profess to be a pretty confident plus size woman, but the second I had that thought, I threw it down deep inside of myself. What would the neighbors think? I hate running. Clearly, I wouldn’t even be able to do it. Right?
And so, I curled this wad of exercise inferiority deep inside my being and managed to fall asleep.
The next day, I mentioned it to my husband.
“What if I tried to run a 5k?” I said nonchalantly. I waited with baited breath. Surely he would think I was crazy. I mean, HE could run a 5k… but me? Not a chance. He would see right through this.
He didn’t even look up from his book. “Cool. You wanna start today?”
I backpedaled in my mind as fast as I could. What would the neighbors think? I hate running. Clearly, I wouldn’t even be able to do it. Right? Well, then, why even try?
“It was just an idea,” I explained. “I don’t think I really want to do it.”
So I gave up on myself for fear of what other people would think.
I really didn’t want to write about this today, because I don’t want to admit that I still struggle with my body. I don’t want to admit that the idea of exercising where someone – anyone – can see me is absolutely impossible and unfathomable to me. But I feel like it’s important for me to fess up. Because maybe you deal with exercise inferiority too.
And that’s ridiculous.
We shouldn’t feel ashamed for wanting to be active or healthy just because we are fat. We shouldn’t have to deal with bullying comments while engaging in normal activities. And we shouldn’t have to worry about what people will think when we want to go for a run. But these are real issues for overweight women. It would be nice if we could pretend that nobody will stare, laugh, or even berate us if we go to the gym or go for a jog… but let’s be real. A world without bullying? That’s not the world we live in. Maybe someday. But not now. <— Click to Tweet
Still, there are plenty of women out there who are overcoming exercise inferiority. (Check out Too Fat To Run and This Girl Can.) These women are overcoming every fear they have about what anyone else may think and helping the women around them feel confident enough to work out. They are working together to overcome exercise inferiority in fat women. I wish I could find one of these women in my community. Better yet, I wish I could be this woman in my community.